Chase The Compliment: How to Ask for Referrals The Non-Sleazy® Way

Real Talk: Asking for Referrals Is NOT Just a Favor.

Small business owners dread feeling “salesy” when asking for referrals. We worry we’re imposing, or worse—making things awkward for clients who are already juggling their own chaos.

But as Annie P. Ruggles puts it, you need to reframe the referral ask. Listen to her wisdom:

“Right off the bat, we need to reframe referrals as giving someone an opportunity to be the guy. Everybody wants to be the person that knows the person… Even introverts love to be the guy.” – Annie P. Ruggles

Oof! That’s good. Instead of seeing referrals as a favor you beg for, you’re giving YOUR happy client a shot to shine as a connector, an expert, a hero to their own network.

Data Doesn’t Lie… But It Needs Your Action

Annie P. Ruggles backs up her approach with hard numbers:

“Most people, if you look at poll after poll... say that they would gladly refer—over 80% of people say they would gladly refer for someone that is a small business that exceeded their expectations.” – Annie P. Ruggles

But here’s the kicker: Only about 20% actually WILL refer, and most will do it only if asked, and asked specifically.

So, take this as your marching orders: ask for those referrals, and ask specifically. Who do they know that would benefit? Make it easy for them to think of someone.

The “Chase the Compliment” Technique

Referrals aren’t just about timing—they can be about recognizing the perfect moment. Annie calls it “chase the compliment”:

“When people are already opening their mouths and opening their hearts to tell you about you, it’s a very easy ask to go, ‘This is the most gorgeous thing I’ve ever heard. You are blowing my mind… Would you mind telling two people this, or could I post it on my website?’” – Annie P. Ruggles

If a client sings your praises, don’t just say thank you and move on. Seal the deal. Ask for permission to use their testimonial, or directly ask for those referrals on the spot.

BONUS: Handling Objections Like a Pro—No More Arguing!

Most sales training tells you to argue objections. Annie says, “Not so fast!” Instead, lean in with empathy and curiosity.

“Never, ever, ever, ever argue an objection. Even if it’s a line, it is true to them in that moment… Instead, distill it down to the kernel of truth.” – Annie P. Ruggles

If someone says, “I need to talk to my husband” or “It’s too expensive,” DON’T invalidate them. Instead, explore what’s really going on:

“Are there any questions right now that are just eating in your brain that are really unclear?… Are you a person who is comforted by social proof? I have clients you can speak to, if that would help.” – Annie P. Ruggles

This approach keeps the conversation open, respectful, and build trust—invaluable for long-term relationships and future sales.

Key Takeaway: Giving First Wins the Day

Finally, don’t save your generosity for paying clients or people who’ve already given you something in return. A true giving mentality breeds referrals, loyalty, and reputation:

“If we give first, then the people that will never become our clients could still refer us, could still give testimony to us, could still be a connector for us.” – Annie P. Ruggles

Conclusion

If you take anything away from this episode of Win the Hour, Win the Day with Kris Ward and Annie P. Ruggles, let it be this:

Referrals and objections are opportunities for connection, not confrontation. Give first, chase the compliment, and reframe your ask—your next big win is just one genuine conversation away.

(Quotes and insights sourced directly from an episode of Win the Hour, Win the Day hosted by Kris Ward, featuring Annie P. Ruggles of The Non-Sleazy Sales Academy.)